Cleetus, Earl and Jim-Bob

This story is for entertainment purposes only. It does not portray truth, although it might be based on a true story. The names of the people have been changed to protect the innocent and maybe the guilty, too. The author in no way condones illegal activities while hunting. 

Cleetus, Earl and Jim-Bob were hunting elk in the wilderness of Wyoming. Cleetus and Earl were well acquainted with the area and Jim-Bob was on his vacation from his job with the State Health Service. All three had cow permits allowing them to each take one cow elk. Since Jim-Bob was the “guest” he got to take a stand (a point where the elk can be seen moving) and Earl was the “bird dog” to drive the elk out where the actually harvest would take place. 

So Cleetus took one point to sit on, and they put Jim-Bob on another point, knowing that as the elk came up out of the valley, they would either go one way or the other. The two on the stands were instructed to “take three.” 

So Earl heads down the ridge to drop into the valley below the elk. Everything goes as planned until the elk break out of the timber. The herd splits, and one group goes up past Cleetus and the other bunch goes up past Jim-Bob. Earl hears six shots and knows that now they have a problem. He gets up to where Jim-Bob is, just as Cleetus comes over the hill. Jim-Bob is so excited. “I got three,” he says. 

“So did I,” says Cleetus. 

Jim-Bob does a count on his fingers of elk down, then a count of people and suddenly he realizes what a problem they have. “Now what do we do?” he asks.

“We clean the elk,” Earl says.

So they field-dress all six elk in record time, and Earl takes off on a trot down the valley. 

“Where is he going?” asks Jim-Bob. 

“To find tags for the extra three elk,” Cleetus answers. 

See, Earl knew that there was a group of hunters like themselves that were just seeking meat and not horns coming up the trail. He knew them well; in fact, they were cousins. 

So Earl caught up with the other group of hunters, and they all came back up to pack all six elk, now all wearing legal tags, back to camp. The families were all provided with meat for the winter, and they all had a memory to tell their grandchildren.

Venison Breakfast Sausage

6 pounds venison, cut for the grinder

2-3 pounds bacon ends and pieces

4 teaspoons salt

3 teaspoons seasoned salt

6 teaspoons sage or more, to your own taste

2 teaspoons black pepper

Onion and garlic powder, if desired

Run venison and bacon through the grinder with a coarse blade, alternating so it mixes some. Mix seasonings into ground meat and run through the grinder again. I use the coarse blade again. Refrigerate for a day or two to let seasonings marry. Then package or make into patties and freeze on cookie sheets. After they are frozen they can be packaged in freezer bags for storage.