Happy Birthday, Mom!

Mom, Barbara Ellison Greene, has a birthday this month. Even if she weren’t my mom, I would say she is special. The first thing most people say when they see me is, “How’s your mom?”  Not “How are you?” or, “Nice to see you.” Nope, it is all about the momster. Which is wonderful and well deserved. She has been a difference maker for most of her life. 

A while back, I shared in a column some of her witty comments from our conversations. I was asked to share more of them. Mom said it was OK. 

• ME: (Rhyming everything she is saying) MOM:  Wow you don’t miss a beat. ME: Probably because of the torture you put me through as a child. MOM: What torture? ME: Watching the Lawerence Welk Show. And a one, and a two. 

• ME: Wake up, breakfast time. MOM: I’ll do pie and cake again. ME: OK, but don’t you think you need to eat more than pie and cake? MOM: You’re right. Add a scoop of ice cream and a Pepsi. ME: Sigh. 

• ME: What do you want for breakfast. MOM: I sure ate a lot at Alex and Gabe’s yesterday for Thanksgiving. I think just a vegetable today. ME: What? MOM: In the form of pumpkin pie. 

• ME: (Trying to yodel a silly song). MOM: You are definitely not a yodeler. Do we know anyone that actually can? ME: Governor Gordon can. MOM: Wow he is a triple threat. ME: What do you mean? MOM: He is smart, good looking and can yodel. That is a triple threat in my book. 

• ME: (Singing to the tune of, ‘If you’re happy and you know it’) You’re a goober, you’re a goober, yes you are. MOM: (Sings back) No I’m not. ME: (sings) Yes you are. MOM (Sings) No I’m not. (speaks) What is a goober? ME: How can you deny being one when you don’t even know what one is? MOM: Talent.

• ME: Bath time. MOM: Let me finish reading this story in the paper. ME: You already read the paper. MOM: Not this one part. Five minutes later, I returned and she was lying on the couch pretending to sleep. ME: Nice try. MOM: I want to stink. ME: No, you don’t. MOM:  You’re mean. (Ten minutes later as we are washing her hair): MOM: You’re only mean when it is bath time (giggles). Otherwise, you’re a good kid.

• MOM: I’m hungry. ME: Nice to meet you hungry. That is an unusual name. What is your middle name. MOM: Janet. ME: Oh, I thought it was ry with Hung being your first name. MOM: (rolls eyes) Feed me woman.

Happy birthday to a classy, sassy, tad feral, kind, gentle, loving, caring, gracious woman.